Wish there was a category for "Former drinker, now teetotaller". There are only so many times you can ask your friends to clean up your puke, talk the cops out of arresting you, and drag your passed-out-ass back to the hotel before you wake up and say, "maybe I shouldn't drink anymore"
Also there's no option for "never drinks but is not a teetotaler". I don't have anything against drinking, I could if I wanted to, but I don't. Teetotalism implies rigidness/preaching.
I know a few people who are total themselves, but don't preach. In fact one or two are happy to join us at the pub (though my regular circles are not "silly drinkers" so that might change if we were).
I never thought it implied that. I have certainly known some people who didn't drink, and were preachy about it, but they have been the minority. The vast majority of people I know who don't drink tend to be pretty cool about it. Though, being a sober person around a bunch of drunk people would try anyone's patience, so I tend to just stay away from places that I know will be filled with drunk people.
I'll join and complain about the lack of a "former teetotaller, now drinker" option.
Also, I want a "Formerly heavy drinker, then teetotaller, now social drinker, but afraid of slipping into heavy drinking again so considering simply avoiding all that by teetotalling again" option. I bet it'd get more than a few votes.
I haven't asked my friends to do any of those for >5 years, but I'll still have five or six drinks several times a month. It's very possible to learn where your limits are, and use alcohol to enhance your socialising without having to hit the bad stuff you've described.
Some people really don't have that sort of self control after a little drink, so their only path to not being ill is to not have the first one.
I've not been ill through drink since a certain point in my early 20s when I was not in a fit mental state for a while (unless you count the occasion when I stupidly went out for a couple on an empty stomach after giving blood that afternoon). My body gives me advanced warning that I'm heading towards a state of having "had enough" and I have the good sense to listen to it even when quite "influenced", but I know people who do not seem so lucky.
People can react to alcohol (and other behaviour altering substances) quite differently, one rule does not fit all.
I definitely fall under the "some people" group you referenced.
My biggest problem is that I eat and drink _very_ quickly. It is just a habit, my dad blames himself for inadvertently teaching us to eat and drink quickly.
This creates a problem because, while socializing, I can easily plow through a handful of cocktails before I feel the effects of any of them. Combine that with a not-great tolerance for alcohol, and I can be blacked-out before I knew what hit me.
I recognized this problem, and tried to correct it by drinking more slowly. But like I say elsewhere in this thread, I didn't _always_ remember to do that, and so would still have a "bad night" often enough that it came to affect my relationships.
I got it to the point where it wouldn't happen _every_ time I drank, but I still messed up often enough that it started to affect my relationships. I just decided it wasn't worth it. I'm not an alcoholic, I never _needed_ to drink, I just have a really difficult time stopping when I should.
It reduces inhibitions, makes you more relaxed, frequently more open, less judgemental. And, importantly, because people know you're drunk as well, it reduces their inhibitions around you as well, even if they're drinking less than you.
I hope I don't have to make the case as to why reducing inhibitions and making everyone more relaxed enhances socialising?
