I almost never get lonely, and love being alone. A big part of this is just personality, I think, but there are two other factors that contribute. First of all, as you mention, I practiced being comfortably alone. I intentionally traveled alone, and sometimes chose to sit in a bar all by myself, just taking in the sights and (initially) feeling very self-conscious. But another important factor is that being alone is a choice for me. If I don't want to be alone, I have plenty of close friends, acquaintances, and activities that would alleviate loneliness.
In fact, the latter might be a much bigger factor that I've realized. The only times I recall feeling lonely were when I felt a need to socialize or talk to a friend, but couldn't, or being at a party with nobody to talk to.
You are socially and mentally rich since you can really choose and enjoy being alone and rarely feel lonely. Good for you. But for some other people, when they feel a need to socialize or talk to a friend, like you said, they may not be able to find somebody to talk to or share their feelings with. I guess this is what the blog post meant.
I wish that all of us could enjoy aloneness, this is really something precious, not only from productivity point of view. When we spend too much time living or socializing with other people, we enjoy the sharing of the information and emotion, but we may also lost ourselves. And only when we are alone, tons of ideas come to us. If you we always are surrounded by some people, we are drown like drunk. So we need to have time to keep us alone.
However, some people are more or less mentally relying on other people. They almost need other people's attention every day from time to time, otherwise they feel lonely. That's why a lot of people are addictive to FB. That's why I said we need to learn to be mentally and psychologically strong, like you, so that we don't feel lonely is negative. Hope this is helpful.
Exactly! I am happy being alone because it's a choice. And you're right that the blog post is about loneliness, not solitude.
I had the luck of being dragged out of my loneliness by some wonderful people (I'm not necessarily mentally and psychologically strong at all), and I only learned to be happily alone after that. But the ability to choose is crucial indeed.
Me too! I learned over the years and met some people when I was extremely lonely. I still remember the spark of light when I was "dragged out", it's unbelievable.
If people are not lucky enough and still feel lonely, I think mediation can help a little at least. When I first tried to do that, even sometime later, once I'm in the deep mood, all the feelings from the sub-consciousness level burst out. Then I become calm and peaceful, because my mind is cleared up. This is the way we can help ourselves, sometime is even better than helped by other people.
Some people told me that happiness is a choice. Initially it's hard for me to accept. But now I feel that if we can make happiness and aloneness as our choices, we become so powerful in our inner world which makes us really strong in spirit. But it take time and effort to reach there and stay there.
In fact, the latter might be a much bigger factor that I've realized. The only times I recall feeling lonely were when I felt a need to socialize or talk to a friend, but couldn't, or being at a party with nobody to talk to.