Other people have apparently had less success employing incredibly trivial security to keep their bitcoins safe.

Maybe because it's a new technology and we are just learning about it? Who told them to jump in anyway? Didn't they know hackers existed? I bet these are the same persons who leave their $3000 cameras or other gear unattended when they visit less lucky countries, and are surprised when they are stolen from them.

You mean that some people choose to not do the incredibly trivial things that are required to keep Bitcoins safe, right?