Your rant is misplaced; it is the spirit rather than the letter of the thing that matters. Linear giant code is often easier to comprehend for structures like state machines where you can follow the business logic from one stage to another easily.
DRY, SOLID, there’s a wrath of principles on why this isn’t correct. Here’s what Code Complete [0] has to say…
>” From time to time, a complex algorithm will lead to a longer routine, and in those circumstances, the routine should be allowed to grow organically up to 100-200 lines. (A line is a noncomment, nonblank line of source code.) Decades of evidence say that routines of such length are no more error prone than shorter routines. Let issues such as depth of nesting, number of variables, and other complexity-related considerations dictate the length of the routine rather than imposing a length restriction per se.
If you want to write routines longer than about 200 lines, be careful. None of the studies that reported decreased cost, decreased error rates, or both with larger routines distinguished among sizes larger than 200 lines, and you’re bound to run into an upper limit of understandability as you pass 200 lines of code.”
These are all just guidelines/heuristics and should not be treated like inviolable laws. Thus all advice should be adapted to the problem at hand in the service of Readability/Comprehensibility first.
Instead of repeating myself, i point you to my other comments in this thread for details.
See my other comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37518275