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> don’t debate at all, just listen

I disagree (pun intended).

Debating allows you to understand your own position better, e.g. is it based on information, intuition, values, preference, experience, or bias?

And it forces another party to do the same, which allows you to better decide how to handle disagreements.

E.g. if their position is based on preference, we can agree to disagree and move on.

If it's based on a bias, I will value their opinion less.

If someone has a different knowledge, that's something we can (and should) resolve asap.

If our values are different we will never be able to resolve it and it's better to avoid conflict.



If you perceive there is sufficient trust and interest in engaging in some kind of debate, sure, consider it. Debate, in its many forms, can have many advantages, but it is not categorically preferable.

Also consider all your other options: pure listening, mutual bonding, offering emotional support, even walking away (from a no-win situation).

If / when debate falls apart, there are many options to reconnect.


That's really not how debate typically works.

Someone states their position, while you're expected to undermine their position with a retort. It is one of the least productive ways of resolving differences.


You're supposed to both attack your opponent's position and defend yours.

What you're describing is a lack of debate culture. A good example of that was already referred here (the infamous "so you're saying" interview).


That's literally worse.




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