I haven't seen much overt rudeness like what you're describing, but it does mystify me how often I'll meet with another company to discuss a potential integration story that benefits us both, and instead of any engineers who can discuss technical considerations, they send multiple product managers who all want to present their own slide deck about why they're so great.
I know you're great - that's why we requested this meeting. I think we're great too. There's a reason I think our integration would be a win-win and a win for users. Can we actually talk about it now? Oh let's schedule another meeting so the fourth product manager who didn't show up for this one can share their slide deck too.
I couldn’t stop crying-laughing at what you described.
Unfortunately at many firms, Product is supposed to be the interface to customers and engineers are supposed to interface with product. This model only works if the product person is smart and humble enough to understand when to involve engineers. Often their incentives are against it as they want the credit for “landing” a big account without the helps of others, especially engineers who often report to a different org.
I know you're great - that's why we requested this meeting. I think we're great too. There's a reason I think our integration would be a win-win and a win for users. Can we actually talk about it now? Oh let's schedule another meeting so the fourth product manager who didn't show up for this one can share their slide deck too.